POSTMATCH: The Bs

Predictions aplenty before the game, DEM BLADES showed their naysayers that they are plenty suited to La Liga, with a 1-0 win on their first day of the new campaign.

DEM OPPOSITION

TEAM – Brentford ‘Football’ Club     Nickname – ‘The Bs’

A small town club, from somewhere east of Aylesbury, Brentford anticipated an easier game than they got at Bramall Lane.

 

Touted as their strongest player Jota (pronounced JOTTER) was reminiscent of my school namesake: lavish musings and a pretty neat exterior, but ultimately little of note and spineless. Jotter was representative of Brentford’s all-around style: exceptionally strong at keeping the ball in areas of the pitch where the opposition was extremely comfortable.

There was some incredible finishing by the B’s, there’s no denying that their striker was a top League 2 player. Lasse was a good vibe for DEM BLADES; missing an open net with consummate ease. If the B’s fans had have turned up, you might’ve heard them shouting

“Lasse, go home!”

Their Ginner was a top player – Ginja Woods; picking it up from deep and then passing it to another nearby B’s player, like Paul Coutts but for the other team. The young Ginger Rogers has gripping rags-to-riches story, that lends some real weight to DEM BLADES transfer policy. We are told you can’t buy a good, cheap, young player from tin-pot league one. But the flame-skulled Woods was an academy product who the B’s brought back from Shrewsbury Town. A lesson for us as all: ginja-zero, to ginger-hero.

 

DEM NINETY MINUTES

Broadly speaking, the B’s brought their ‘C’ game. At times, they controlled it – no doubt. But at other times, we made the B’s look like a broken pasta-husk in a muddle of Alphabet-spaghetti.

Leon Clarke made their defence look like a B team. Their defence was so strong, so wise, they didn’t think to mark League One’s top goal scorer from last season in the box. Leaving him unmarked would be their downfall.

The match was a hard-fought victory. They had their chances and DEM BLADES’ defence stood strong whilst the B’s did some skills. Jota did a step-over and passed it out wide, then the wide-player passed it back and Jota did some stepovers and a drag-back and passed it out wide again, but with too much force and it went for a throw-in and Ginger Rogers could be seen shaking his head as he knew, he would have made that pass himself.

DEM AWAY FANS

This was a Category B fixture and dutifully the B’s chose not to bring many fans. When you’re a small club that can’t fill your own stadium it is always better to save your pennies for the home games.

The hundred, or so, fans that Brentford brought were truly fantastic people. I met a few in the pub on the way to the match; they were undertaking a sponsored silence. I gladly put £1 in their bucket and was relieved to see their commitment to the cause by maintaining their silence throughout the game.

I could’ve asked for my quid back though! Silence briefly interrupted when seven B’s fans jeered Leon Clarke’s air-shot at the back post, who recovered to plant the ball on Billy Sharp’s head, who found the net: the B’s hurriedly returned to their silence. Commitment to charity, such as they showed, should not be scoffed at.

Man of the Match

Since Jamal Campbell-Ryce left DEM BLADES, we have waited – biting our fingernails in anticipation – for a new Jamal. He made some truly wonderful saves, but his kicking was outstanding. Cutting through the nervous tension in the ground by kicking huge, looping high balls, straight from his hands. This farcical sight enabled players and fans alike to be much more relaxed. 8/10.

GO ON JAMAL.

 

DEM PIGS

DEM PIGS were all saying that this league would be too much. They called it LA LIGA. Whilst DEM BLADES beat Brentford, DEM PIGS lost at Preston North End; most of DEM PIGS now think PNE are nailed on for a top-two finish. Carlos in, or Carlos out? Who cares…the time has come for DEM PIGS to realise that all Rhodes lead to the slaughterhouse AKA Bramall Lane, AKA BDTBL, AKA THE HOME OF FOOTBALL

 

Thanks for reading and good luck to the B’s for the rest of season.

 

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