POST GAME #5 Sunderland A.F.C

Team – Sunderland A.F.C        Nickname – The Black Cats

There was a prophecy that told that DEM BLADES would never win at the Stadium of Light and you would be forgiven for thinking that this would hold true when facing the priciest-ever iteration of the Black Cats. All change, the prophecy was broken. Wilder’s team dominated a game that showcased a fantastic debut, some suspect goalkeeping and booming away support.

DEM FANS

DEM BLADES fans were brilliant. Yeah, yeah; we always give an excellent account of ourselves, but yesterday was a particular highlight of this current campaign. We were as loud as Sunderland were deathly silent. I know that they haven’t won at home for an extraordinarily long time but I think it undermines the myth promoted by BBC and C5 pundits alike that North East clubs have the loudest fans.

DEM 90 MINUTES

Myths run through the bricks and mortar of the Stadium of Light, from the origins of their Black Cat nickname to the idea that Ellis Short was ever a good club chairman. A new pervading myth is that Simon Grayson knows how to set up a football team.  Jonny Williams was very good at step-overs and Honeyman looked a sweet chap. Galloway isn’t a former politician and infamous pussycat impressionist, but unlike his namesake Brendan’s impression of a Championship full-back was unconvincing. He was one of many black cats to kick in an underwhelming Sunderland performance, but he was not alone.

If he could tackle well, graft well, head well, shoot well and pass well then Rodwell might well make a half decent footballer. At £10 million he was £3 million cheaper than his colleague and partner in midfield whose price tag is representative of the long-term mismanagement of the footballing infrastructure at the Stadium of Light. It’s always sad to see the bell tolling for another northern club: ding-Ndong, ding-Ndong, ding-Ndong.

DEM BLADES

On the whole, we are not a fickle bunch. That said, conceding the consolation goal was an absolute aberration. Wilder out. Simply a disgrace and we were lucky to win. On the other hand, it won’t be long until Clayton Donaldson takes his rightful place in statue-form outside Bramall Lane, next to Joe Shaw. “He’s got the Championship experience we desperately need,” said many fans in reference to signing Dean Hammond under The Melt. Clayton Donaldson has a similar level of experience and we may well need it, but unlike Hammond, he can play football for a living.

The Deathly Hallows.

J.K Rowling, in her books for bright kids and dense adults, wrote about the Deathly Hallows: three mythological artefacts that, when brought together, would make a Witch or Wizard undefeatable. We are the Red and White Wizards and we are undefeated in three games, the coincidence is too strong. Mark ‘The Elder Wand’ Duffy has tantalised La Liga defences with the impeccable first touch and vengeful control of a man scorned by Negative Nige and Burton Albion. John ‘The Cloak of Invisibility’ Fleck never goes missing.

He cost £10 million less than Jack Rodwell and whilst DEM PIGS will tell you “price tag is everything,” it should be remembered that the best wizards can hide in plain sight. Bringing them together, Paul ‘The Ressurection Stone’ Coutts is turning back the clock on a career that could’ve soured had Chris Wilder not have given him an opportunity and taken him off the transfer list. Throughout every ninety-minutes he is spell-binding and makes everything look easy, Cruyff-turns and fifty-yard passes look as natural as a ten-million-pound Middlesbrough reserve on a substitutes bench at Hillsborough.

You might argue that Chris Wilder should break up the in-form triumvirate in order to give other teams a fighting chance. But Wilder is more Voldemort than Harry Potter and DEM BLADES can expect the legendary trio to cast another deadly spell over Bolton’s defence on Tuesday.

MOM

Paul Coutts.

 

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