POST GAME #7 Norwich City F.C

 

TEAM – Norwich City                    NICKNAME – Canaries

On the back of a four-match winning streak, DEM BLADES were put to the sword as the Canaries ran riot at Bramall Lane.

DEM OPPOSITION

Yesterday’s visitors have a few famous supporters that avoid Norwich as much as they can, for reasons of taste – or maybe that’s just Hear’Say? Delia Smith, Stephen Fry, Ed Balls and Myleene Klass make up a famous foursome, but whilst Sean Bean is reyt Blade, he lacks the exemplary Klass and professionalism of this Canaries team.

There are certain places in the country you only visit for a football match, a funeral, a wedding, the odd Christening or any of the coming of age traditions undertaken within our multi-faith society. Places like Stevenage, Swindon or indeed, Norwich.

I rarely visit these parochial places for reasons of taste, not responding-silvous-plait to any invitations to avoid the fear of imagining what it would be like to live there. Maybe the Canaries were motivated by that fear, knowing that they could put their bodies on the line, not caring whether or not they made it home. How else did they play that well?

 

DEM 90 MINUTES

Norwich are an outstanding footballing team and were excellent throughout. The Canaries were a Premiership side in 2016, but faced with a newly promotedLeague One team, they masterfully put ten men behind the ball. After a neat finish to put them 0-1 up, the Norwich tactics successfully bamboozled DEM BLADES with an exceptionally deep back line.

The opposition was midfield was particularly impressive, especially James Maddison. For a pathetic invertebrate, the attacking midfielder did well to stay on his feet for those fleeting moments where he managed to. He was roundly applauded by the away contingent for bravely getting off the ground on a number of occasions; rising like an arrow-punctured Boromir to fight against the oncoming tide of fair tackles and sometimes no tackles at all. No cheap cliché or superlatives do justice to Maddison’s performance, absolutely top class.

…Aaaaaaaaargh it was horribly frustrating

…Farkein ‘ell, imagine appointing a Klopp-disciple who joins the club and turns the team into one with the integrity of the Judge that scored Canelo Vs GGG 118-110, comingled with the attacking ambition of a Nigel Clough team. Norwich deserved their win in the same way that Negative Nige didn’t deserve to be sacked or in the way that GGG didn’t deserve to win.

DEM BLADES battled well against eleven men and deserved every bit of the applause that met them at the final whistle, it was just unfortunate that we couldn’t overcome the man-disadvantage and take at least a point ahead of the Steel City Derby.

DEM BLADES

DEM BLADES had five strikers injured and were reduced to ten men at the start of the game after the manager had little option but to start Ched Evans. I would have a ‘false-nine’ with Brooks, or stuck Carter-Vickers up there; anything to save us from the ignominy of knowing we actually brought him back with real money.

As I keep reminding fans who defend the returnee, cheering on an unfit, unskillful and unbelievably slow ‘Trier’ is idiocy. Dick van Dyke tried, he just wasn’t a cockney. I don’t hate Dick and I needn’t question people’s enjoyment of Mary Poppins, but I don’t pretend that his performance was convincing and I don’t pretend it ever will be.

In the same way that throwing bottles and punches is idiotic and undermines the decorum and intelligence of DEM BLADES fans, praising a player on the basis of some abject and arbitrary sentimentality is ridiculous and needs to stop. This opinion shouldn’t be conflated with negativity – I clap him when he comes on, like anyone else – I just clap louder when he comes off.

MOM

James Maddison: the floor-to-floor midfielder underpinned Norwich’s style of play. He was one of those rare players that seemed to have an extra second on the floor in comparison to those around him.

JK..Paul Coutts.

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