Postmatch #12 – The Tracker Bars

Mick’s McCarthyism had no sway over DEM BLADES who won 1-0  against the Tracker Bars on a sunny Saturday at Bramall Lane.

DEM OPPOSITION

I’m not sure if I speak for all DEM BLADES but I don’t know where Ipswich is, and I don’t want to find out. I imagine it’s a village somewhere east of Wales and I’m quite happy not to explore the geography any further.

I’m sure that it’s a quiet place. Quiet like the Tracker Bars’ midfield and quiet like the opposition fans. Mick McCarthy has worked hard to create an atmosphere of fear and you could feel the tensions as their right-back, recently accused of supporting Jeremy Corbyn’s plans to increase inheritance tax, repeatedly misplaced passes into touch.

DEM 90 MINUTES

DEM BLADES dominated proceedings in the early stages. John Lundstram couldn’t control the ball on the edge of the box, in one of many dangerous-looking cutbacks from the byline and Jack O’Connell should’ve done better with a header from a corner.

Things turned sour when Kieron Freeman’s horrible looking injury meant that Jake Wright had to replace him. But, after all in the stadium clapped off the injured player as well as the medical staff, normal service resumed. Jamal Blackman decided not to command his box and allowed David McGoldrick to get to the ball first before scurrying to claim the lucky leftovers.

After half-time DEM BLADES scored a well-worked goal. Having seen plenty of crosses come down the left-hand side without success, John Fleck received the ball from Leon Clarke before taking a look and perfectly crossing for Chris Basham to run onto, and head into the net.

DEM BLADES confidently saw the game out and even looked like extending their lead, bar the one scare – a fat Jamie Ward thwacked the crossbar after picking the ball up on the left edge of the box.

All in all, Duffy ran the entire game and showed exactly why he’s keeping a quality player in Samir Carruthers, out of the team. Basham excelled after taking up Kieron Freeman’s position at right wing-back and Lundstram looked strong, confident on the ball and able to pass well with both feet.

DEM BLADES

This is all going far too well for my liking. So to pour some cold water on affairs, here are some much needed reminders as to why not everything is going swimmingly.

Ten reasons to be negative…

  1. Kieron Freeman’s injury looked really nasty.
  2. Gary Sinclair calling players ‘Bill’ and ‘Duff’ when they leave the pitch, though I’m sure ‘Bill’ was happy to get “well played” from the renowned expert after leaving the field.
  3. I dropped a chip when I was walking back to my seat. A young kid, fat for a thin lad, knocked my arm and one of my chips fell onto the concourse floor. The kid didn’t apologise but he was wearing one of those stone badges on his arm that means you don’t have to have any manners.
  4. We didn’t get to see Paul Coutts play yesterday. I knew he was suspended beforehand, but I couldn’t help feeling that the people running the club have short-changed opposition and DEM BLADES fans alike. Games not featuring Paul Coutts should have a 10% discount.
  5. We don’t have any group goal celebrations like the Flock of Geese celebrations under Adkins. If Knill can orchestrate a freekick, surely he can do the same for a routine? Our celebrations are a disgrace at the moment.
  6. We still haven’t taken 1 point this season. I love a draw. Who can forget the incredible drawing ability of previous managers like Clough and Wilson? Just look at Clough now; respecting that single point, week in and week out. Keep up the good work, it’s more than Wilder can do.
  7. The sun was too sunny, which meant the bloke next to me kept his arm in the air blocking my view. I had sunglasses on which meant I could see.
  8. DEM PIGS aren’t providing much-needed competition, instead, they are floundering under Ricardo Carvahlo’s tutelage and even losing to teams like Bolton who have lost every league game, to every team apart from Wednesday this season.
  9. DEM BLADES fans still get it wrong, it’s not Praise and Grumble it’s Praise or Grumble. Presenting the binary as an ‘either/or’ and not a ‘both’ means that Brian the Blade can praise DEM BLADES, at the same time look ridiculous for grumbling about League Two’s Diego de Girolamo.
  10. I clapped too hard at the end of the game and knocked-off a scab from a paper-cut on the inside of my palm, which had formed after I’d spent hours scrunching up £20 notes and unscrunching them to see if they would still be £20.

The highs are high, but these lows really are low.

 

Man of the Match

The spectre of Paul Coutts…

 

 

 

…and maybe Duffy!

2 thoughts on “Postmatch #12 – The Tracker Bars

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